The Other C Word...

I trusted her.

My psychologists' approach was not traditional ­– although it included a lot of conventional therapy approaches, she worked in a more spiritual manner. She was kind and gentle – I trusted her. The premise was about coming back to love and my core self, my soul. To me that was what healing is all about and it aligned with my own beliefs about life and worked really well for me. I was loving the positive changes in my life and how much better I was feeling.

I was open and willing to change.

She taught me so much about myself, about the soul, about energy and letting go of pain. She taught me how the body holds onto trauma and acts as a filtering system for energy, and that feelings were just energy. I learnt how to sit in the uncomfortableness of feelings I had avoided all my life – feelings and experiences I disassociated from in the past and was beginning to face.

I began to feel my inner strength and resilience. I learnt about choices I never thought I had around physical boundaries and how to hold and soothe myself when in pain. I felt lighter and freer. I began to feel the courage to speak truth (to myself and to others) and am a much better person for all of it. I knew that there was more to me than just my emotions and experiences.

I was slowly beginning to come back to me – the person I abandoned from abuse so many years earlier in my childhood.

For therapy to work, I needed to have an open heart and mind. I needed to trust the person, their training and their teachings. I needed to take on-board new perspectives, things that I may not have known or been aware of – and to then integrate them into my life. I did all of that.

Like with anything, there were times when her teachings didn't match my beliefs, and I felt that was okay. They seemed too far-fetched, so I chose the bits that aligned and left the rest behind – this worked… until it didn’t.

This is an excerpt from my blog I have written of my story of how I was being groomed into a cult, boundaries were crossed, and abuse took place with the psychologist I was seeing for my PTSD and trauma as a child.

To read the entire story: https://her.exposure.co/the-other-c-word

~Her.