The Predator’s Prey...
I got out of a trap.
In 2016, I was a target for a person who preyed upon those going through the muck of life without support and looking for like-minded people to help them up. At first, the predator was hiding; lurking in the shadows of the internet, using search tools to cast a wide net in hopes of catching those in crisis, those in limbo, those like me.
Later that year at a self-help conference, I came face to face with the predator. As soon as she began to speak, the allure of her words coaxed my brain to turn off its defenses. The moment of emotional release in a group meditation broke down the unguarded walls. When I spoke to her one-on-one, I was no match for the promises of a better life in her Pride - promises I now know to have been false.
But I had been bitten.
For three years I followed in the predator’s Pride, yearning to do anything to appease her and the other members. A few months in, I found a Pride close to home and quickly became one of their own. Weekend retreats, spur of the moment get togethers, messaging at all hours about the benefits we had received from the latest meditation, process, and video… I was too eager to continue to spend more and more time with my Pride and less and less with my friends and my family. I was even encouraged to cut communication entirely and live with a Pride member.
However, no Oasis can maintain peace for long.
When I became the verbal punching bag for my local Pride’s lioness, I knew I had to make my escape. It was only upon leaving the Pride that I realized the bite of the predator had been venomous, and now although the scars have healed four years since, the poison still circulates in my veins clouding my decisions, my beliefs, my relationships, and my own memories in doubt.
I was a lioness who had forgotten her own power.
Now some days it rains, and others full sun, but I am relearning how to survive, how to trust, and how to play. While there is still much I am uncertain about, one thing I do know: There is no lion but myself who knows what is best for me, and any who say otherwise are lyin’.
~anonymous lion