I Got Out Of MLM
I got out of an MLM after almost two years.
It was a very slow drain and a series of moments that eventually gave me the courage to finally quit.
When I joined, I believed there was something special about this company and I didn’t see the immediate harm because the products seemed harmless and were things I used anyways. There was no worry of selling products related to weight loss or health claims. The mission was very attractive. Everyone seemed nice and welcomed me with open arms (as much as one could in the online space). As a stay-at-home mom who was wondering what her next stage in life might look like, I thought I had found my place. My tribe. My sense of purpose.
I enjoyed the products and I loved sharing them. It was nice to feel like I was a part of a community and that I could be myself. I never really focused on recruiting. It was not my goal when I joined. I was intrigued by the products and wanted to see where it would go. I was recruited with the promise that there were 3 ways to be a rep: shop products at wholesale or discount, as more of a hobbyist and only occasionally sell to friends and family, or to be a business builder and sell the products while building a team. I was more of a hobbyist. I had promised myself from the beginning, I would do it if it was fun. It was fun at first. I quickly became obsessed with the products and soon my obsession began to takeover my social media feeds. I was posting about it constantly as we were told to do. I began to get hooked on every little win if I gained a new customer. It wasn’t long after I joined, that the promise to run my “business” in whatever time I chose and however I chose faded and the strong push to recruit and get others to join so that I could rank up began. I didn’t, and don’t, like recruiting. The idea of having to make money off people to get ahead felt icky to me and I learned quickly that the only way to “succeed” in this business model is to recruit.
I’m not proud of it, but I did try. At my upline and company’s encouragement, I tried every day and did everything I possibly could do to try and make it work but to no avail. I wasn’t good at recruiting, for which I am thankful, and it was very hard to make any sales that weren’t my own. Some of my closest friends would occasionally purchase to support me, but I was my biggest customer. I spent more than I made. We had no inventory requirements but were encouraged to shop regularly to be a product of the product. We could shop at wholesale but were encouraged often to shop retail to earn extra commission and even our own hostess rewards, which in the long run still didn’t account for how much I lost. If I “succeeded” at anything, the lovebombing and constant praise was strong. If I was struggling or not meeting my goals, it was all my fault. There was always messaging of don’t blame the company, the business model, or the products. If we weren’t succeeding the way we hoped, it was all our fault yet if we had wins along the way, our uplines would use those moments to brag on their team and what great leaders they were with the purpose of getting more people to join.
Over time, the longer I was in it with not much to show for it but a lot of product and increased debt, I would question things and I slowly began to see what the problem was with this very problematic and unethical industry, in my opinion. It was a very slow drain because even as I was questioning things and doing my research and my cognitive dissonance was getting stronger, the MLM still had a hold on me. I still felt a need to be loyal and even grateful for this company. While there were some good things about the experience, I realize now that any growth I experienced deserves to be accredited to myself, not the company. The good thing about the experience was that it did help me learn more about myself, what I am willing to tolerate, and what kind of work I want to do. I have become increasingly interested in a more minimalist mindset because of the excessive consumerism that often takes place with these companies. I still allow things, but I am much more mindful about bringing things into my home that feel good, that I love, and serve a purpose. Since leaving MLM, I realize that we don’t need as much stuff as we might think, and it is all just stuff. This stuff (often overpriced) is not the end all and be all to finding out what we are capable of.
Eventually, I experienced the last straw while attending a virtual “training” with my company and there were things I picked up on by the founders that made me go “okay, that’s it, I’m done.” Though, I might not have picked up on it if I hadn’t already been questioning things and doing my research.
Contrary to what any MLM will say, if I can help even one person, I would say:
1. Don’t be afraid to question things. Always question things.
2. Do your research outside of the MLM. Do it quietly if you need to, as long as you’re actively looking into more views on the topic than that of those in MLM.
3. Trust your gut instinct. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. If you’re feeling nervous or scared or unsure about it, that’s your cue to not join or consider getting out. Our fear is there to keep us safe and it’s not the same thing as experiencing butterflies before writing a test or speaking publicly.
4. To express concern about a company, its products, etc., you are not being negative, and you have every right to do so.
5. To say that I feel like a changed person after MLM is an understatement. There are a lot of emotions that come up and it is important to take the time necessary to work through all of it and I encourage therapy if you can do so.
6. You are not alone. I am so thankful for those in the antiMLM movement who are doing the work to shed light on the industry and empower others to either not join or quit.
Since getting out, I continue to heal, and it gets easier every day. I recognize that there will probably always be triggers that I will need to address regularly, but I find that I am far happier without the MLM industry.
I now live with hope, and I believe we will see a day where MLM companies will be a dirty thing of the past. If we keep talking about it and keep saying no to these “opportunities,” I have hope that these companies will come to realize what they have been doing wrong all along…and I will continue to hope that one day they will care more about people than making themselves and only their top reps richer.
Thank you for letting me share my story.
~Cheryl