My name is Annabel and I am from Germany.

My former self would have interpreted the way I met my guru in a completely different way: as a divine blessing.

Turned out it has been the curse of my life! My mother's best friend, Claudia, often looked after me when I was little. Her apartment was filled with pictures of Indian saints, deities like Krishna, and paintings of hearts and angels. While she cared for me and several other children, melodious Indian music played in the background. She lit fragrant incense, wrapped us in colorful cloths, and showed us how to protect our auras from harmful energy.

Dedicating my life to God

Years later – when I was 18 years old, I felt a deep desire to finally find my purpose in life. I was experiencing some kind of crisis and was desperate to find out where I truly  belonged and what my purpose was. At the age of 19, I travelled to Nepal for volunteer work, teaching English to children for two months. This work was fulfilling, but deep inside I wanted to be even closer to God and felt the desire to dedicate my life entirely to God. I researched monasteries regularly, listened to lectures by spiritual teachers, and read books such as Autobiography of a Yogi. I also felt the need to exchange ideas with Claudia about my longing for a spiritual search for meaning. Claudia, who traveled regularly to India, was not always easy to reach, but somehow my mother managed to get in touch with her.
In an apparently magical way, I got introduced to one of the Swamis of my Ex-Guru and just five days later they invited me to join them for a Darshan, which in the Hindu tradition refers to the opportunity of seeing a holy person. 

Becoming a nun

Then everything happened very quickly.

I was told that this was my last chance for now to be initiated as a nun. In my heart, I had only one desire: to serve my guru and to live together with my spiritual family.
Although a scandal about abuse came out shortly after I moved into the hindu-christian ashram,  they persuaded me to stay. I was deeply brainwashed just like everyone else.

When the order was officially disbanded, I fell in love with an ashram resident with whom I had a one-year relationship. Our relationship was dissolved after a year by the guru, who had already separated so many other couples.

Today I know that I was a member of a highly dangerous, narcissistic personality cult. Everything resolves only around him. The master outwardly gives the appearance of being celibate, but there are a very few people who know that he has sex with his disciples, (which is not always on a voluntary basis). This sexual abuse is hushed up and played down by his inner circle.

In addition, there is a  strong emotional abuse. The students donate all their possessions, become extremely emotionally dependent, and are being separated from their family and former friends. Many have no choice but to remain in the cult due to their being threatened and manipulated. Others commit suicide or die mysteriously.

This group is one of the most dangerous cults there is in my opinion, and unfortunately the authorities do nothing! We urgently need help here in Germany to stop the organization, which is present in numerous countries around the world!

A highly dangerous and manipulative man who is being worshipped as God

It hurts my heart every day that I have wasted a precious time in my life to serve a fraudster, a criminal. My guru has been in jail already for theft and he has traumatized so many people. He is a terrible person who thinks only about himself, living a jet-set life, travelling the world, wearing luxurious clothes and expensive jewelry, and being driven around in fancy cars.

Many people in the ashram are convinced that he is a deity incarnate or that he is very closely connected to god. He abuses his power in every possible way. He prefers to have his life financed by particularly rich and famous students! Every day new people all over the world are attracted by his teachings, donate their fortunes, and get initiated. All of this so that he can lead a lazy life and maintain homosexual relations with his disciples in his bedroom. I have nothing against gays, but he manipulates his students into massaging him, which then ends in very intimate acts. Regardless of whether his students are straight or gay, these abuses leave deep scars and trauma for the rest of their lives.

Before I left the ashram, I had also been through other traumas caused by the Guru and the residents, which are too heavy for me to be shared in public. I have dealt with suicidal thoughts so many times in my life and am still struggling nowadays. The wounds that I have experienced are just so deep.

I still have things to work on, deprogramming myself from old-belief patterns. I have deep trust issues and only a few close friends that I can truly rely on and for whom I am very grateful. My only desire is to find a bit more peace and harmony in life, and to enjoy a few more happy moments, before God will take me back home and heal my soul.

It‘s my sincere wish to warn others and I pray to the real God everyday to have the truth about this criminal and scammer be exposed as soon as possible!

~Annabel