A few days ago, I dropped a plate of food after cooking for an hour. The plate broke and so I had to throw it away including the food. How would you have reacted? Not long ago I would have cursed, yelled and probably even cried. Why?
When I just turned 9 my family and I flew to Korea to go to Cheongpyeong which in a nutshell is an exorcism camp. There is so much to write about this place, but today I just want to point out one thing that stuck with me from our stay there.
Read More1998 — I met him in the UK, three years after I had lost both my parents to AIDS. I was vulnerable, grieving and suffering from depression. His association, consisting of himself, his wives and a few hundred followers, preached eco-awareness and Native American spirituality.
Read MoreI got hooked. I believed in the cause. I wanted to do the work and fight the fight. It wasn’t a religion, but a school with an ethos and code that was very cult-like. The founder is very charismatic. She is brilliant and educated. More so, she can use words to wrap you up so tight in yourself, you don’t know how to get out.
Read MoreEverything I was taught about my place in the world, my purpose, my value, and how much room there is for my voice has been and remains an uninvited companion.
When average people think about cults, it's easy to think about what you usually hear about, which are their harms.
But when you're in an intense group, especially one that espouses a message of love and enlightenment, being in that group can feel like an incredible high. It feels good to feel not only incredibly loved but incredibly important. . A lot of new age spiritual cults, such as the one I was in, teach that members are some of a select few on Earth; in fact, in my group, we were taught that we were unique and special not only on Earth, but within a universe (or even multi-verse) of other sentient beings. And not only that, but we were lucky enough to exist in this moment in time where we could be especially powerful.
Read MoreI was told it means "beauty of the heavenly heart", but its literal meaning is more like "beauty of affection". My parents wouldn't know because they don't speak Korean. In the religious group I grew up in, Korea, Koreans and Korean culture were considered superior. Within this class/ caste system, many parents found it appropriate to give their children a Korean first or second name. And so, a top-level Korean leader whom I have never met named me.
Read MoreI was beaten, starved, locked in a brown, cold isolation room, used as a physical labor slave to carry rocks up a hill. I was 15.
Read MoreApril 19, 1980. That was the day I planned to escape the cult. That f*cker had them make his favorite pie for my birthday, I hated it. As I blew out those candles I was terrified. That man to my left was the leader and I was going to tell him "I’m leaving".
Read MoreI used to be in a church group that was emotionally and spiritually abusive, and very much like a cult. My entire church is NOT a cult — I’m still in the same church today — the group I used to be in, though, was a nightmare.
Read More"Just trust me." I hated those words from My Father, along with the abrupt hand gesture that always made me flinch. As usual, it was impossible to disrespect him. You didn't talk back. You didn't even ask a question to clarify that you understood his request correctly. Ultimately the way would be made clear. And, you never needed the whole story, just your own part in it.
Read MoreMy psychologists' approach was not traditional – although it included a lot of conventional therapy approaches, she worked in a more spiritual manner. She was kind and gentle – I trusted her. The premise was about coming back to love and my core self, my soul.
Read MoreWhen you grow up in an authoritarian family that operates like a cult, can you ever get out? I began the conscious process of leaving my family when I was fifteen. I waited until I was the legal age of twenty one and boarded a plane to England the next day.
Read More9:45…the alarm rings. Splashing water on my face, lenses in eyes, hair managed, clothes on.
10am…out from my room to serve his second cup of tea and make my own…the caffeine welcome…I am so tired.
I am a 24 year old woman who spent 19 years of my life in a cult. In that time, I survived extensive mind control, abuse, psychological warfare, isolation, manipulation, brainwashing, and trauma, alongside those closest to me.
Read MoreNow that I am out, I find it very scary to listen to my pain but at the same time impossible to ignore. That part of me has been so lonely, so dormant, just like a very long root of some kind, hidden under the snow. Not dead, just frozen.
Read MoreIn the autumn of 2017, I became a member of a far-left political cult which practices a rigid form of Orthodox Trotskyism. I joined it around the same time as I went to university for the first time. I discovered the organization through the Internet after months of reading left-wing literature and being persuaded by Marxist ideas. I was at a very vulnerable time in my life - living away from home for the first time, feeling resentment towards my family, looking for a higher purpose. I was the perfect victim.
Read MoreMine is a life littered with traumas that pre-date birth.
The most destructive forces on my childhood all originate in the teachings of my parents’ church — a brand of “Christianity” that teaches (controls) with fear as the primary motivation for living. Eternal damnation to a pit of fire is a terrifying concept that crushes a young child’s soul. The terror owns the child: mind, heart, soul, and body.
Read MoreI’ve been out of the new age cult I was in for going on thirty years, and I still look in the mirror and ask myself, “what was I thinking, and how could I have let that happen?” I hope it’s a question I never stop asking myself…because there is a side of me, that’s afraid if I stop asking, I may end up back in a similar situation. Damn it! I literally almost stopped myself from saying that because the guy who ran my cult, let’s call him Craig, used to say, “Side of you? Are you a box? How many sides do you have?” I have been out of that cult for almost thirty years, AND I STILL HAVE HIS VOICE IN MY HEAD!
Read MoreMy story, the story about my daughter (who was in a cult for 30 years) has wracked me with guilt, sorrow and anger. But that was later. Before that, I was just numb. Before that I was ignorant, unknowing.
Read MoreWhen it comes to narcissists and cults, we all see what we want to see and there’s just enough glimpses of that to make us stay in spite of the abuse...and in some cases the abuse is framed in such a way that if one perseveres, there’s growth and soul evolution to be had in the other side.
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